Desire the Pain

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It’s your boy once again- I must ask all of you to think. Ever feel like you didn’t measure up? Ever felt like a failure? Ever longed for something that you just couldn’t get, no matter how hard you tried? I have had decades like that. Now I am not fishing for compliments or sympathy. I can empathize with anyone who feels like they are “less than”. Frustrating as can be, isn’t it? Entertain the notion that the pain is for your education. I have learned that every betrayal, every setback is the setup for the come-up (thanks, I thought that one up on the fly LOL). I have also learned to desire the pain. What and why in all of God’s green Earth would you want THAT, you may ask? Seriously, check it out. Pain, obstacles and setbacks are a part of life. I understand this is the postmodern era, and we are in 2014, where things need to be as easy as possible. You all must understand that pain, conflict, distress and disappointments are simply a part of life. It’s just a big a part of life as love, food, sex and happiness. In my life, I have seen that pain, struggle is quite harsh. It is necessary. It has served me well. I remember growing up a weak, soft little boy. The hardness of the times I grew up in served only as a catalyst for me to be better, and to overcome every hardship foisted upon me. The hardness of the times I grew up in served to make me more analytical of why things are the way they are. It also made me hungry for success. Remember the article “Loser Mentality” I did around Thanksgiving? Me growing up the way I did, I desired pain and turmoil. Why? So I can say I conquered it all. My challenge to all of YOU out there in cyberspace is to not dwell on your failures- instead, try this: TALK TO YOUR FAILURES, TALK TO THE MOUNTAINS IN YOUR LIFE. It seems crazy, but know this- we as people often form our opinions of ourselves and the world around us from those closest to us, and the dominant people in our lives, whether that be parents, your favorite entertainers, athlete, whoever. Why do you think that there are so many memes and quotes on social media featuring some celebrity (i.e. B-List comedian, political theorist, writer) plastered all over some peoples’ walls? Simply because people are not taught to think critically. What do I mean by critical thinking? Critical thinking is the ability to think clearly and rationally. It includes the ability to engage in reflective and independent thinking. I have noticed in recent years that most people don’t have this skill, oftentimes going off emotion as the basis of all thought, attitude, etc. Don’t feel bad, I operated that way for years until I knew better. Now what I mean by talking to your mountains is making your words craft the life you want. Do you realize you have the power to create the life you want, simply by speaking it? Ever say something about a situation that you didn’t want to happen, only it seemed to do exactly what you didn’t want it to do? I challenge you to train your brain to have a positive outlook. Don’t like your life? Change it by changing your outlook. Look at what you’re putting in your head- the music, the movies, what you read, etc. Examine yourself. Make it of the utmost importance to destroy any and everything that is potentially holding you back from having the best. If you believe that you have been held down long enough, that you deserve better- give this a try. What do you have to lose?

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As stated before, pain is merely a part of life. Bottom line, I wish people would get this. Life is nothing more than a fight. I do these quotes called BATESisms, touching on things in life and the living of it. I had once posted on facebook that ‘life is nothing more than a fight- so hit it in the mouth repeatedly until it submits”. Our society has become so detached from reality, so over-indulged in excess (nothing exceeds like excess), and generally soft by general standards. The “offended card” is overplayed, as our nation has sunk into a nitpicky, politically correct pose. Not much freedom of speech to be had now. I am off my soapbox (didn’t really intend to go there LOL) now.

In closing, I ask you- what’s it gonna be? Life, or a slow downward spiral of pain, shame and hiding from achieving your potential because of the fear of loss, the fear of looking dumb, the fear of rejection? It is time for you to take control of your life.

 

I AM A SCAM ARTIST

Hello, I am Kente Bates, and I am a scam artist.Image

Yes, you all heard it here first. Based on what I get from folks on the internet and in life in general. But before I put myself on the stand, we need to know what a scam artist really is, what they represent, and where they are usually located. By definition, as scam artist, or confidence artist is someone that defrauds a person or group after first gaining their confidence, in the classical sense of trust. So what do they represent? Just getting over on everybody else to get money, sex or whatever else. Where are they located? They are located all over. The biggest ones are in key positions of leadership, often in politics, the media and in music.

BATES: I call KENTE to the stand.

Kente walks up to the stand. He holds his right hand up, left hand on a Bible.

BALIFF: Kente, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help you God?

KENTE: I do.

JUDGE: You may be seated.

BATES: Now, Kente, you are here on the accusation of several dozen people that you are a scam artist. Is that true?

KENTE: “Never. I would never scam anyone, because it is not in my nature to do so”.

BATES (laughing): Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh right. We all know everyone who is not a known name cannot guarantee a thing. YOU are a scam artist! ADMIT IT!

KENTE (calmly): “I realize you’re doing your job, but it ain’t working. I have never scammed anyone, nor will I ever scam anyone. All I do is help people. it’s in my DNA”.

BATES: “You expect me, this court, and all those watching in the world to believe that you are not a liar, not a scammer? We have transcripts of Nigerians calling you a scammer. Now if we can’t take the word of a Nigerian “businessman”, who can you believe”?

KENTE: You take a look at the internet, society and all- who runs everything? Scam artists. Now, we have all been trained to spot the scammer, but look at who the biggest ones are- the ones running the cities, the governments- add to that the people who are weak-minded, the dope boys, the hoes, the SIMPs- all the politicians, all the musicians, ad people. Those are scam artists- big time scammers.

BATES: Again, do you expect us to believe the word of some unknown like you? Why should we? You can’t do anything! You can’t get me any money, you can’t get me hooked up with a chick, and you can’t get me anything so I can get high. You are worthless, not a leader, irresponsible, scatter-brained, weak. YOU ARE A LOSER. YOU ARE A SCAM ARTIST. YOU ARE A JOKE. JUST ADMIT IT.

KENTE (agitated): Not only are you trying to bait me, but you’re grossly out-of-line, sir. You are in no position to challenge or question my expertise. You speak as if you know any of my struggles, from the time I was six years old up to now. I have spent my life helping people, refining who and what I am, only to see it rebuffed time and again by losers. You, sir, have no clue as to what it entails for you to lose everything you have. I know firsthand what this is like. SEVEN TIMES I have lost everything. Working myself almost in the grave- collapsing in public, working when I had pneumonia and could barely stand. I have done everything in my power to ensure a life of respectability, and I stand firm on that. Ask anybody I ever worked for. I am the archetypical hard worker. You, my friend are out of your league coming at me with this garbage!

BATES (sarcastically bored): Now that your monologue is done, I wish to bring out exhibit A- the track record of people like you, who are wanting money for nothing. Let the court bear the testimony of Raymond R. Mulalas (name changed to protect actual people): “He goes looking for money, now he’s offering money- SCAM.” See? That’s proof positive there. Exhibit B states that in a fundraising consult, you were found out to be “lacking in all fundamentals of fundraising, often delving into grandiose illusions rather than concrete evidence. Let Exhibit C state that the defendant also, “Does not have his head on straight. The simple fact that he is trying to raise funds online should show you he is a shady character at best”. BATES motions to the door. “I now offer before the court a testimonial by a Ryan Brown, a REAL money man. Mr. Brown runs a financial firm. He was interested in Kente’s ad, but he found that Kente was a scammer, through and through. BATES pops in the tape, the tape begins: “Both me and Kente were conversating, and were about to come to a deal, but I knew something wasn’t right- all my questions were answered, but I just didn’t feel at ease about this. I am someone who checks everything before making a deal. If I cannot get the upper hand,  will back out. The last time I talked to him, he starts popping off at the mouth, calling me an arrogant prick, how he didn’t need me, etc. The fool was BROKE, couldn’t even afford to pick up the tab for the service he was offering. Not to mention that, but I must say again, it just sounded too good to be true! Nobody offers anything like that anywhere without it being some kind of scam. Yes, he sent me information, names, addresses, numbers- but I just don’t do deals that way.” The tape ends. BATES is standing, with a smirk on his face, as to suggest he has boxed KENTE in.

BATES: Now, we all have the word of an actual person, on video, that is concurrent, germane and congruent with what I have been laying down the past hour. Kente has yet to prove he is anything but a mealy-mouthed, forked-tongued liar who is just  nothing more than a scam, a fake and a cheat. So, Kente, you need to answer ALL my allegations. We all know you are just are a hack who can’t cut it.

KENTE (visibly angry): In reiteration, you must have just bumped your head. I have stated just what and who I am. You can bring up as many folk as you want, but they were and always will be fearful people. Don’t you never try any crap like that with me. These guys and gals thought it’d be something for nothing, waste my valuable time- I am trying to build a business, and these hacks are all online, in my presence telling me I have nothing to offer, that I am a mere scam artist? I have had a lot of insults hurled my way in my 37 years- but nothing enrages me more than some jack boy lying on me, telling me to my face that I am not worth anything other than a waste of space. It is very infuriating to hear these lies. It’s bad enough to hear lies come from the mouths of fools online, but to hear these gross misrepresentations of me, my intellectual property is downright egregious and might I add, a travesty of justice.

BATES: No further questions, Your Honor.

The jury deliberates for 3 hours. The jury is arguing every point made, arguing every jot, tittle and line explained, exclaimed and portrayed.

All of the participants of the trial reassemble. The verdict is about to be read aloud:

JUDGE: Jury, what is your verdict?

FOREMAN: Your Honor, we find the defendant, Kente not guilty of all counts.

JUDGE: Kente, you have been absolved of all reasonable doubt. You have been found not guilty of the charge of being a scam artist by a jury of your peers. I have nothing more to add to this. You are free to go.  BANGS GAVEL. You are dismissed.

I want to thank all of you for reading this. I hope it was as entertaining for you reading this as it was for me writing it, imagining the players in it, and the feelings associated with several of the players in it.

Obsession

Webster’s Dictionary says that an obsession is a persistent preoccupation, idea, or feeling. Obsessions can be in a good way, or a bad way. A good obsession is your expression of faith towards your deity of choice, following the doctrines of your religion to a T. A bad obsession is wanting someone’s spouse, and allowing that to dominate your life. In the case of this post, an obsession can and will be used for bettering yourself, versus the opposite, which is wasting your life and destroying your life. So let’s begin. I can honestly say that I am obsessed with physical fitness, obsessed with dominance in all areas of life. I remember when I was younger, I went vegetarian for almost two years. I went from 290 pounds to 160 in 13 months. At times, I had to make myself eat. I became obsessed with physical fitness and making myself better. Unfortunately, at that time, I had an obsession with having people like me (experience has shown me that that is a waste of time), and it killed my motivation. To quote Chappelle, “haters gonna hate”. I learned the hard way that people are a snare to your success. I personally challenge anyone who is unsure of their standing in this world to go be about something- you will instantly start collecting haters (haters are like a combination of remoras on a shark and that white stuff that collect on the corners of your mouth when you’re REALLY thirsty). I simply am aghast when I reminisce on how people act when it concerns approval from others. It is sickening to me- partly because I have come from the background where I was like so many others- a slave to approval, wishing to have everyone’s adoration. THE WORLD DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. To be obsessed with making yourself better is something that should be prized, something that other people should aspire to, and to admire. Often enough, we sit on the sidelines of life, watching life pass us by as it were another Monday Night Football matchup.

In my humble opinion, there are so many things that need our attention. Bettering yourself. Overcoming obstacles. Doing what’s right BECAUSE IT’S RIGHT, DOING IT THE RIGHT WAY- ESPECIALLY WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING. That is integrity. That is courage. That is stuff that will never be sold on MTV, or on the internet. The closest thing you’ll get is some comedian making fun of something and all the lemmings laugh, thinking it’s humorous somehow. In closing, I would like to say to all them who are “on the fence” about their lives- just go do it already. You don’t know what is waiting for you on the other side of your doubt. You don;t know what’s waiting for you on the other side of your pain. Dreaming of a better life is one thing. Just don’t let it stay a dream. It’s not a crime to be obsessed about something that is good. It’s not a crime to want to work at something you want more than life itself. Never ever complain about your life that you refuse to change and make better. Other people usually don’t care about what you are going through, or your problems. Most of the time, they are going through some kind of pain themselves. In summation, it all goes back to “your life, your choice”.