Some Folks….

Yesterday, I saw a “man” who was insulting everyone. This guy is running around slamming doors, cussing (no typo there), yelling and screaming. I kept myself out the way, as I know how law enforcement tends to act in these types of cases. This guy is a serial drunk, has very little in life other than memories of what he was- or who he thought he was. At times, he seems to be good, but under the smell of alcohol and the appearance of shame- he never has a leg to stand on. I tend to stand back, look and observe. Now, my buddy’s wife tends to run her mouth a lot, and it gets her in trouble. I tell my pal this. He understands he is not responsible for cleaning up her mess all the time,which is why WE left the premises when the ensuing argument jumped off. Two people who swear they are right all the time, don’t know when to shut their mouths- especially during the holiday season, usually equals conflict. I sat back and let them argue (remember this is between a man and a woman). Back and forth for a few hours, me and my pal sat and watched the Knicks and Clippers, occasionally laughing at what was said. It was mostly bluster and swearing on both parts, or “selling wolf tickets”, as we say in the South. It is most apparent that in times like these, that people must remember that this is the type of thing that gets people dead. Somebody takes offense at what is said, and there are no cool heads to prevail. “If they can’t get along, get it on”, as it was taught to me. I see NO problem is this. I personally wonder what would have happened if the dude had went ahead with his threats of knocking the F outta her, and all that jazz. My buddy’s wife ended up suggesting that we go to the back room just to stay out of the conflict. At least she has the balls to stand up for herself, even when she is wrong. As stated before, I have seen her run off at the mouth and later regret it, because her husband was about to beat her. Typical mess.

Some people don’t know when to quit. They run their mouths, always thinking they are right, always coming with criticism. An old Southern colloquialism does this justice. “When you go out in a field with a shovel, you gonna come back with some dirt”. A lot of problems would never arise if people would exercise some caution- as I do. I try to keep “situational awareness” (the ability to know your surroundings, keep cool and execute a well thought out plan in case things get dirty) a top priority. In so many cases, so many times, especially when I was a youngster, I saw so many people smacked up, shot, all because they ran their mouths too much and were proven wrong- and also when some joker ran off at the mouth too much, not realizing they were outnumbered and were handled swiftly. I once was in a situation like that, having to fight off 5 guys- with nothing more than a broomstick. THINK THE KNOCKOUT GAME IS BAD? TRY DEALING WITH IT BACK IN THE 1990S, WHEN MOBS WERE THE STANDARD. I am often regaled with memories of people getting shot simply because they didn’t know when to shut up and let the time pass in various situations. I almost died myself because of that. Messing around with some thugs in Baton Rouge, talking big, with “my nose wide open”, cause that’s how I got down back then. I could have died in the streets that night. I remember it like it was yesterday. All trying to act thug, when the streets were NOT in me. I was reminded of why that was the case. In any case, I was reminded of a LOT during the arguments, especially the mistakes, miscues, misplaced trust, false hope, false thug ambitions, etc.

 

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DEALING WITH HATE

ImageThe other day, I was reminiscing on my life (seems like I’m always thinking huh), and one theme I am on a lot is hate. I remember the words, the sneers, the judgment passed on me. I think of this a lot as a mean of motivation. I am basically sold out to being ruthless in achieving my goals for life. So many people are underachievers, or they don’t understand what it takes to make something for yourself in life. It is imperative that people “get out of the matrix” when it comes to having things in life. So many people are all on the “my four and no more” philosophy of life, basically looking out for number one.

Hate is a theme of life I am intimate with. Growing up the way I did, I am on a face-to-face level with hatred, violence and pain. Hate is something that is now mainstream in the media when you don’t like something that is popular (i.e. Deena Jacobs to Kim Kardashian). Hate was something that was fed to me, being a youth in the ‘hood. All I knew was hate. People hated me cause I had buckteeth, cause I didn’t have a dad, or for some reason. People hated me because I was alive and breathing. This is something people have to understand. They hate you. And? Am I supposed to break down every time some fool passe judgment on me that I know isn’t true? I couldn’t care less about what anybody thinks of me, other than God and myself. More people need to have the POV I have (not saying it because I said so, but because it’s the stone-cold truth) if they want to succeed. This thing we call life is not for the timid. The winners in life win because they forsake all fears, even forsaking “common sense” to get what they want out of life. Too many times, we now have people who are willing to settle. Bad relationships, bad everything, no job, stuck on welfare, got kids with no father, no support. Then the hatred comes.

Hatred is something people do to distract themselves from the sad-sack reality that they have created. People usually hate things they don;t understand, things they can’t do- other times, they hate what they cannot control. It is simple in my eyes. The confusion comes when people who don’t have the mental acuity, the mental disposition you may have, start in on you. What to do?

1. REALIZE AND ACCEPT that people do not have to like you, love you, or even acknowledge your existence. You must make the determination that you will be happy no matter what people say or do to you.

2. People will be people. What they cannot understand, control, profit off of, they will hate, despise and try to ruin.

3. YOU MUST NEVER EVER GIVE UP BECAUSE OF THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS. I know it’s tough. You must develop your talents, and develop a thick skin.

4. LEARN TO REVEL IN THE HATE. I have taken to a new mentality concerning this. I often say NEW HATERS WANTED- the old ones are starting to love me!! This a mental deal that will take years to overcome. The fear of people is a snare, as said in the Bible.

5. As you are developing your talents and skills, and your mental frame, never forget that you are accountable to yourself, family, the people that depend on you, and to God.

6. Morgan Freeman said it best in “The Shawshank Redemption”: GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING.

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Loser Mentality

fearisaliarOne thing I have been seeing a LOT of lately is people with what I call a loser mentality. It is something I cannot stand ONE BIT. People have gone brain-dead. Folks are so soft now. Every now and then, I take a walk on the streets. I see a lot- like fashion, attitudes, stuff like that. I wish people would toughen up. Now what I mean by a loser mentality, is the attitude of “small thinking”. It soon morphs into a lifestyle. It is based on the fear of loss. The fear of loss is something most people have. I used to have that kind of thing rule me. One day, after losing everything, I made up my mind to never ever live that way. Once I woke up to just how my life was controlled by fear (thanks be to the God in Heaven), I was repulsed. I was scouring my life, looking at everything. When I say everything, I mean everything. Every experience, I scrutinized (I am my toughest critic) EVERYTHING. I ended up making a list of personality traits that I wanted, and still remember going to the dictionary, looking up words that I liked- like dominate. I ended up coming up with a laundry list of words. Then the words I meditated on religiously.

After looking up the words, I started implementing words, quotes, even imitating a few people I admired (in my life, and from television to a degree). If you follow my blog, you know I am not ashamed to talk about myself. This subject/topic has always been one “near and dear” to my heart. I hate seeing people fall to fear. I hate seeing people not be able to break through to realize their dreams and goals.

In closing, I will say this: for those of you who are “religious”, you can pray to whoever your diety is and gain strength from your higher power, still drawing from your experiences and conquering your fears. For those of you who claim no religion, you’re gonna have to dig deep and get it in that way. In any case, your life is “all on you”. There is no way around this fact of life: there is, was and always will be conflict, change, things of that nature. That much is clear. Cowering, hiding behind fear, your past, whatever- is not going to help you accomplish anything.

Have You Ever….

Yes, that is a lead-in to an old Brandy song… but what I am talking about here is.. well… life itself. Have you ever caught yourself doing something you swore you would never do? I have. I remember in the past, I have done many things I swore I would never do. Just sitting and thinking about things in life, I can almost read myself like a book. I would like to think I am not some revisionist trying to save face with myself and others… I also would like to think that I stay real with myself… besides, you can lie to others, but you better not lie to yourself. I can see where I was a teenager, making dumb mistakes as all teens do, transferring into adulthood, making even more “guy mistakes”, raising hell, talking LOTS of “ish”, making few friends, relishing being a villain… now into my 30s/late 30s, for some reason, people look to ME as some kind of voice of reason… imagine that… just a short time ago (the 90s are not that long ago LOL), I would have been buried under the institutions that I somehow have come to represent to a degree.

When I go back home to GA, I am blindsided by change… it’s like I was never there. Everybody marrying, having kids, moving away, getting divorced– the stuff of life. Sitting back in my present city (I am all over the West Coast now), it is looking pretty good for me… Memory Lane isn’t easy to go down at times… makes me more hungry to get things done in life. When I think of where I have come from… the backwoods in West Georgia, miles away from anything it seemed like… to going worldwide at least 3 times in under 4 years. It humbles me.

I wanna ask ALL of you in cyberspace who are reading this to do the same thing with your own life. It is something to behold, especially for those of you who have had to overcome some stuff to get where you are in life.